Weekly 1:1s are one of the highest-leverage things you can do as a manager, and one of the first things to slide when you’re busy. That’s a mistake. A good 1:1 is where you catch problems before they become crises, build the kind of trust that keeps good people around, and get an honest read on what’s really happening on your team, not just what shows up in a status update.
Skip them, and that signal goes dark. You find out about the burned-out employee, the stalled project, or the resignation letter after it’s already too late to do anything about it.
This guide gives you a simple structure to run 1:1s that people actually value, whether you’re doing this for the first time or trying to fix a version that’s gone stale.
How to Run One Well
Make it weekly and protect it. Same day, same rough time, every week. The cadence itself builds trust. People open up more when the meeting is predictable and doesn’t get bumped for other things.
Keep it to 30–45 minutes.
Use a shared doc. Google Doc, Notion, Asana, whatever you already use. Both people add to it before the meeting. It gives you a running history and keeps either of you from having to remember everything.
Come prepared, but follow their lead. Skim the doc beforehand so you’re not walking in cold. But if they bring something urgent, go there first. Your prepared questions are a guide, not a script. You don’t need to ask all of them every week.
Ask, then listen. Skew the ratio hard toward listening. Resist the urge to jump in and solve it immediately. Often they already know what they need. You asking the right question is more useful than you supplying the answer.
Listen for what’s underneath the words. “I’m fine,” said quickly, usually means dig a little deeper. “I’ll just push through” is someone normalizing an unsustainable pace. Vague answers when you ask for feedback usually mean a trust gap, not that there’s nothing there. High energy on one topic is worth following. That’s where they’re alive.
Close with clarity. Every 1:1 should end with at least one clear action, yours or theirs. Write it down. Follow through before the next one. That’s what makes people trust the process.
The Five-Part Conversation
Use these as prompts, not a checklist. Pick one or two per section depending on what the moment calls for.
1. Start With the Human
Every time, before anything else.
- How are you doing, really? Not the work version.
- What’s your energy level this week, on a scale of 1–10?
- What’s been giving you energy lately, and what’s been draining it?
- Any wins, personal or professional, from the last week?
Don’t rush this section. It sets the tone for everything that follows.
2. Priorities, Roadblocks & Bandwidth
Get an honest read on what’s actually on their plate before you talk about anything else.
- Walk me through your priorities (or Rocks, if you’re running EOS) this week. What’s on track, what’s at risk?
- If you’re honest with yourself, what’s your bandwidth right now? Is that sustainable?
- What’s the #1 thing you’re focused on, and what’s in the way of it?
- Is there a decision you’re waiting on that we should unblock?
- What’s one thing on your plate we should question whether it belongs there at all?
Watch for over-commitment dressed up as dedication. Your best people will normalize an unsustainable pace before they’ll admit they’re drowning. Naming it is your job.
3. Feedback, Both Directions
Alternate who goes first each week so it doesn’t always default to manager-first.
Them to you:
- What can I do more or less of to support you better?
- What’s something I’ve done, or not done, that’s made your work harder?
- Is there a decision that’s been made that doesn’t sit right with you? I want to hear it.
You to them:
- “I noticed [specific action] last week, great job. One thing I’d love to see you try differently is [specific insight].”
- Here’s where I think your strongest contribution is right now.
Keep it specific and light, week over week. This isn’t a performance review, it’s a running signal. If someone can’t name anything when you ask for upward feedback, that’s a trust signal, not a blank slate. Keep asking. It gets easier for them over time.
4. Growth & Where They’re Headed
Make sure today’s work is actually serving where they want to go.
- Which of your current projects do you enjoy most? Least?
- Is there a skill you’d like more room to develop?
- Where do you feel like you’re doing your best work right now?
- Where do you want to be in a year, and does your current work move you toward that?
This is the section that gets crowded out when things are busy. Protecting it tells people that performance and growth aren’t competing with each other.
5. Close With Action
Summarize out loud so nothing gets lost.
- [Employee] will: (e.g., send the draft to the client by Thursday)
- [Manager] will: (e.g., approve the budget request by end of week)
One named action each, minimum. Then follow through before you sit down again.
Bonus: The Quarterly Deep Dive
Once a quarter, swap your usual agenda for one longer, more personal conversation. This comes from Kim Scott’s Radical Candor and it’s worth the extra time.
Ask: “Tell me about your life, starting from wherever you want.”
If that’s too open-ended, use these instead:
- What were you like as a kid?
- What did you care about growing up?
- When have you been happiest?
- What decisions are you most proud of?
You’re not making small talk. You’re looking for the patterns and motivations that explain what actually drives this person, information that never surfaces in a status update.
Grab the Template
Pair this guide with the [downloadable 1:1 template] so you and your team have a simple, shared place to prep for these conversations every week.
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